Jill Johnston

Author and Critic   May 17, 1929 - September 18, 2010

Volume 5 Number 6                                                                                                 July 18,  2011


THE RED BARONESS IN AMERICA  


these are some stories of women. i intend to adhere to the subject. the mood is both strong and vulnerable, tentative and expansive. (not) all parts can be moved. i planned originally to share some stories of my cars, and other peoples cars. the best car story i remember from eighth grade was by harriet beecher stowe who said the automobile would divide humanity into two classes: the quick and the dead. my friends indicate i am so one i should be the other and that’s because my present vehicle was made by the germans. i now drive instead of just going from one place to another. i don’t drive and daydream any more. i don’t know if the germans imagined their juggernauts hurling 75 or 80 mph on country amerikan winding roads, possibly all they had in mind was a normal cruising speed of 90 or 100 or so on their own hiways, but whatever the conditions the product they’ve turned out says drive me. esther tells me that’s no excuse. she didn’t explain for what. i suppose for risking my life. i don’t take it lightly myself. i take my new career as a racing driver seriously. i approach the launching pad with intent to speed and nothing else. i pass everything else that moves on four wheels at double dispatch. i don’t even see the things that don’t move. all i care about is passing everything that moves and breaking my own speed records for arriving anyplace including any aimless trip whatsoever. i take adverse conditions into account too. i made it one night from hartford to new jersey in one hour and a half in a blinding rain storm even though i had to pause or slow down momentarily while a vw bug in front of me went into a wild spin and a half and i paused extra to admire its trajectory across the three lanes spinning like a top in each lane and miraculously escaping bodily contact with three other onrushing vehicles and ending up dead still facing in the right direction in the emergency pullover lane. i already bragged about my three hours and 15 minute record maiden trip from washington d. c. to manhattan. i have no intention of repeating the trip just to outdo myself. i'm just writing about cars. these are some stories of cars. i intend to adhere to the subject. the mood is free and confined, regular and irregular, rectangular and unmanageable. i planned originally to share some stories of women. everything which is necessary is in her. and what is not in her is not necessary. she was turning in circles and saying the whole world is moving. she represents herself as a sphere. the news was beginning to spread. there were more friends, more flowers, more cars! she was invited to write a column in a city newspaper called the brakes. she wanted to call it just motor. i mean motor. the word motor sums up everything you need to know about cars. i don’t use fancy words like engine. i would however toss dymaxion around in architectural company. the same thing over & over and over again. how important the third over is. the important thing about my life & times right now is its quality of risk and speed. i haven’t been so fast since i played right wing soccer. a study in contrasts is what it’s all about. the way one might enjoy taking up soccer after playing croquet every year until i was 13. i've been driving tinlizzards since i sat on somebody’s lap to steer their heap when i was nine so i deserved something dangerous and foolish and impractical at 15. i was brought up on gingham and seersucker. the last allaround washnwear type thing i had for a vehicle was that rectangular underpowered dinosaur they call a vw camper which made it across wyoming at an all time high of 25 mph. other outstanding features of my great house on wheels were its motor spattering oil capacities and its ability to turn over on any bridge on which the wind was above breeze warnings and its general reliability under stress on remote turnpikes for just breaking apart. i had one fine trip in this house. i parked it for one week on an island off maine overlooking some reefs and seaweed and holed up inside to write very comfortably as though i'd discovered the allpurpose self reflecting box with a window on the ocean of the world. when i wasn’t doing that i was struggling on the outside with my feet touching the ground with this survival equipment by hudson’s called coleman’s, these frightening lanterns and stoves, the lantern i busted immediately and presented the remains to a friend, the stove i gave away to the stranger who relieved me of the house one day on a local street i accepted the first comer for whatever he seemed to have in his pocket. i told him it was a famous house because it had appeared in esquire. that seemed to really turn him on. i wished him luck in his camper phase. we all have these camper phases even if you don’t actually get one. everybody likes to get into somebody else’s and rummage around checking out the compartments. the reason i like it all originally was for its compartments. i didn’t enquire into its efficiency or anything like that. this german number i have now is efficient completely by chance. that is, i had no idea i was obtaining the darling of amerikan aficionados in european models. it's not that i didn’t know it would be faster, anything would be faster, nor that i didn’t know it would  be more reliable than a rambler pickup, but nobody told me it was a racing car favorite of the nazis. the model by the way is a bmw 2002 stands for bavarian motor works and i feel exempt from any responsibility of collusion with an unpopular nation state since i never did know where bavaria was and for some time i thought the b stood for british. the reason i thought of it at all was that three or two years ago i happened to see this exquisite backside of a medium small orange number parked on a west side street and it occurred to me right then that i'd get one. i jumped out of wehatever tinlizzard i had at the time and found its identifying insignia. i'd never heard of it. a bmw. a british motor wench i surmised. anyway the romance was all visual. the only thing i like better now visually is anything else german with a lot of chrome. i really dig chrome. and in 5000 years when i'm finished with my creditors i'll have this one painted the silver blue metal flake job. oh lord wonchu buy me—a mercedes benz . . . my friends all drive porches, i must make amends. oh lord wonchu provide me with a mechanic for free. for anyone considering seriously becoming a racing car driver i have to offer this inside information that an 8000 mile check on a small bavarian affair costs $135. which may be nothing to nazis and nebuchadnezzars but for myself i can’t reconcile that sort of price of a tuneup to the $50 i once paid outright for a ’51 pontiac that i'm still sentimental about. i can’t believe i abandoned that one on the street just because its radiator. it wasn’t even a motor problem. i don’t remember what was wrong with its radiator. i remember getting after a suitable interval an allamerikan prone sprawl of a desoto that wouldn’t go in reverse. i know lots of car stories. i know lots of car and women storied. all the cars in the world are driven by people. all the people in the world are women, except some of them are men, whose mothers permitted them to make them. the mood is soft and dynamic, relaxed and concentrated. (not) all the parts can be moved. i suppose if it were possible the hiway engineers would’ve constructed some special bypasses over around and under their tunnels for women. i heard that a woman mining engineer in colorado won her case for entering

tunnel. apparently they don’t permit women in tunnels out there, possibly too except for driving, and i for one go through them very fast, i timed myself last week in the new haven tunnel it was a five second run. it's more exciting to pass everybody in a tunnel too. and there’s no excuse as esther said. and esther wouldn’t drive with me. once rosalyn said she wouldn’t drive with me either but she didn’t remember why. i've only destroyed one car and that was my mother’s. i've never hit an animal. i've only knocked two people down and it was all their fault. and i have only one speeding ticket in my german racer. i suppose they know i'm out practicing. i don’t know why they got me that one time. i was doing 80 at 2 a. m. on the merritt and this pleasant pig who probably didn’t know who i was pulled me over and said did you know you were doing 80 ma’am. of course i knew i was doing 80. what’d he think i'd be doing at 2 a.m. on the merritt parkway. he apologized and punished me at the same time, so undoubtedly he was confused. not all of them i'll have to admit are so charmingly ambivalent. most of them in fact actually are on the lookout for these ex favorites of the nazis and they cruise up and down everywhere just especially to hunt us down. the only times anybody ever stopped me in my house was for having long hair and/or when my son was in the passenger seat. my son by the way was instrumental in the purchase of that house. the fact is that one year i was homeless and very upset about it ad richard who was nine and driving along in a tinlizzard for an outing said casually why don’t you get one of those things with a box in the back and i thought he meant a trailer, i'd always associated campers exclusively with trailers, so i didn’t take it seriously for a year until when i was on the coast and saw zillions of these boxes that sort of went with the driving equipment and thought that was for me, i had no intention of retiring into a trailer at the age of 15. trailers and retired nuclear disasters were the same thing. anyway so i had my camper phase. during my truly big trip, a three month junket to the coast and back, i slept in it a total of three nights. when you have a car that you can’t sleep in nobody wants you to stay in their regular plumbing and electrified houses and when you do have one they’re quite eager for some reason to put you up, so the true benefits deriving from a camper are those of increased and unlimited visitation rights, something to consider if you prefer squatting in other peoples houses the way all the women i know do. there's a history of good luck with cars in my family. my grandmother never owned one. my second cousin eddie had a fine ford with a rumble seat. and my mother made her first fortune driving a model-t when a rich man’s son oscar somebody piled his motorcycle up on her running board ramming the handlebars into her head causing her to sustain a concussion for which the rich father of the son paid my mother 10 grand in those times was a fantastic sum and she became an adventurer by taking a boat to europe. she didn’t drive again for dozen of years. the only other story i remember about the early days was being compelled to go for sunday afternoon drives with my grandmother in martha and elsie’s black chrysler and reading the funnies and throwing up. i never thought i was destined for the racetracks. except for eddie’s rumble seat i didn’t take cars seriously at all. there was nothing to it then anyway. there weren’t any japs or germans. there weren’t any rpms and the word handling was unknown. the thing about a foreigns efficient car is that it handles. i told jane all about my car history so that when i acquired this current juggernaut she used it against me and acted as though i didn’t deserve having something that handled or something that had such an overqualified motor that a number of its incidental details were fucked up in a royal way like when a certain type of person sat in the car it wouldn’t start or a certain type of other person got in the car the key would get stuck in a door so you couldn’t put it in the starter and stuff like that and in fact she didn’t think i was capable of handling this fabulous piece of machinery as a mechanic put it and that’s because she happens to be a true car freak and that’s because she owned a morgan. i always thought a morgan was a horse but now i know better. i know a lot better. i can’t identify them on the road, but i display an interest in them and i intend to get one when esquire or the vw outfit people come across that photo i posed for they didn’t tell me was going to be an ad for those lousy campers it looked as if i had nothing better to do than to advertise what a wonderful house i was leading in my life when in reality it was a minor miracle i'd survived to have the photo taken at all. the vw people wouldn’t recompense me a cent for all my broken down motors or the mental cruelty i experienced as a snail being a sort of beats of burden carrying all these compartments around kaput. i'm paying everybody back by being a terror on the roads. and they’ll never get a picture of me. i go too fast. i take other drivers on too but basically i'm practicing to be faster than myself. i don’t like to pick up challenges by strangers but i've noticed i can’t very well ignore certain dudes who think their crummy dirty dent chrome dodge is a match for any german. the thing is there isn’t a dude under 70 who won’t start driving with his prick as soon as he registers that a woman is on his ass and then he turns into a goddam bombardier. but it’s a solo flight most of the way. i go too fast for most anybody to determine what sex (if any) is causing the wind and they assume it’s a male anyway unless otherwise proven and if they do see anything i suppose it’s a longhair marine so essentially after all they’re pretty polite and move over and make as much room as possible as soon as they hear the blast and recognize a nazi racing car driven by a longhair marine. Okay i've taken care of some car tales and some women too. i didn’t say i had a very important sexual experience in my camper, so i guess it was worth it. the most exciting thing is to think of anything. then you don’t have to do it. i never expect anything to materialize anyway so i have basically a good time. the components exist in a peculiar idiosyncratic space. and i experience the other stories as my own so that in effect i can imagine i've done everything. the most impressive car story i ever heard was from lois hart who told me she had her nervous breakdown in a ’51 chevy. i wouldn’t ever forget it. the way things shake down currently is that jane got a saab and esther drives a vw squareback and gregory leaves his mg in garages to go abroad on boats and phyllis totaled her bug two weeks ago and bertha’s is in north carolina and i saw the ex old man of an ex lover of mine in a bentley one day and i saw her mother in a taxi and sheindi says she is getting a learner’s permit and richard wants a license next year and rosalyn probably still doesn’t drive and i don’t know what my mother has and ingrid said her favorite job was a ’51 chrysler and the only other human i know who has a bmw is brenda hyphenated and i take it back i forgot so does simone and the wheels i want next is a bavaria four doo six cylinder sedan maroon with folding wings and a rocket fuel jet propelled engine for short trips to the moon whenever i'm in the mood.

Originally published January 11, 1973 in the

Village Voice


Copyright 1973 and 2011 by Jill Johnston

OUR CARS: A Short Tale of Speed


It was early spring 1980 and we were doing about 75-80 miles on small winding country roads in and around the Cornwalls of Connecticut. Jill was at the wheel of her Little Orange, I was in the passenger seat—and she was taking me around to get acquainted with people and places of import and interest to her. I’d entered her life earlier that year in what we both understood was a life-changing fashion. The intensity of our intellectual passions, not to mention the more ‘base’ passions, clearly found some release in our numerous trips at breakneck speed. Little Orange was an MGb—a well-designed smart looking sports car but quite costly in its upkeep; and with mileage nearing 200,000 I kind of imagined future problems.

     After a lengthy period of courtship, and having almost convinced me she was moving to the UK, Jill sold her house in West Cornwall and moved into my apartment on West 14th Street in New York City, bringing with her Little Orange and, as she used to say, her dowry—a check from the sale of her house. I invested her money at an unheard of rate of 18% per annum and gave her an allowance each week! Now began months of getting to know each other in earnest, of adjusting our needs and desires to each other—and moving Little Orange from one curb to the opposite on alternate parking days. Agreements were made twice a week as to who would deal with the car—and then I’d wander off to work at Perry Street Theater and Jill sat down at her desk to continue working on what became Mother Bound.

     Fall of 1981 we were driving up to West Cornwall, CT to visit with Lynn and Jamie when somewhere on Route 7 very ominous sounds emerged from Little Orange, and within minutes she simply stopped moving. I was driving and Jill immediately said ‘pistons’ ‘the engine has blown’ and I felt terribly responsible. Although I had checked oil and all other fluids before leaving the city, apparently I had not noticed that oil had begun sputtering as we drove along. We got hold of Lynn who picked us up and arranged for LO to be towed to Percy’s Garage in West Cornwall. And it was also Lynn who immediately knew of a good used car for sale over in Goshen. So we were not without wheels for more than a few weeks. Jill just wanted to junk LO but Lynn and I thought it would be worth trying to rebuild the engine. For the next several weekends she and I became grease monkeys at Percy’s. The replacement car we bought, we figured would maybe last us a year or so. We paid $1,000 for it and baptized it Old Blue—it had plenty of mileage and yet we managed to ease it along for 7 years during which we drove to Chicago twice, with some breakdowns, to Swan’s Island in Maine, and every weekend when not abroad on research trips, we drove to Kingston to be with Winnie and our grandchildren.

     We often took Amanda and Ben to a reservoir nearby to bike, run and play ball. And on the drive back Jill always entertained us with camp songs and we all four would sing, “You Are My Sunshine”—Jill singing in a clear beautiful voice. Little Orange was never again the same—several interesting looking parts were left after we assumed our rebuilding was done! Although it sort of stated, it didn’t sound healthy! And at some point, Jill sold it for $1,500 to a guy who was collecting MGs!

     After 7 years with Old Blue, we decided the upkeep was out of sight and resolved to buy a new car. I was used to window-shopping rather lengthily when it came to BIG ITEMS. When we drove to Torrington Honda in Connecticut, I had already checked out the various models via a NYC Honda dealer and felt I came well prepared; not ready exactly to buy but ready to check out what was available. Before I had had time to even blink, Jill bought a 1988 Honda Civic 4-door sedan, blue with about 4,000 miles on it—and this car became Little Blue, which we kept and nurtured till spring 2008 when I discovered numerous holes in the floor under the driver’s seat. It took us on lots of trips to North and South Carolina, to places all over the USA where Gillett & Johnston carillons were to be found, to Canada twice, and as always to Winnie and our grandchildren as they moved from Kingston to Tuxedo and then on to Tomkins Cove.

     By early winter 2008, we had bought New Blue, a 2004 Honda Civic 4-door sedan in the same speedy and unblinking way Jill had previously bought Little Blue as well as our co-op apartment on Charles Street, and the condo apartment in 2007 in Sharon, CT. We needed a good car to get around in our new abode environment of the Northwestern corner of Connecticut, especially during what turned out to be horrible winter months. I pulled out the passenger seat and placed boxes covered with blanket to support Jill’s legs, especially the left one which had gradually been causing her endless pain and trouble walking since 1996.

A few days ago, it dawned on me that Jill’s faster-than-the-speed-of-light method of buying BIG ITEMS was her way of balancing out her creative labor of writing. She could sit for hours formulating sentences in her head before actually keying them on the computer. Still, every time she pulled this fast kind of purchase, my heart was in my throat. And now I miss this decisive approach so desperately.

     On June 24, 2011 at 13:41:50 o’clock, New Blue became my car—after jumping through a multitude of hoops and obstacles viz. loan and owner-transfer. When I walked out of the DMV satellite office in Winsted with the new registration papers, I burst into tears, and sat wailing in ‘my’ car for a good hour. I haven’t owned a car by myself since my white Triumph back in my days at the University of Copenhagen circa mid- to late-60s. And truthfully I can’t say I like it one bit!

                                                                                                Copyright 2011 by Ingrid Nyeboe



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An Informal Get-together
May 17, 2011 
from 5:30 to 8:30 PM

Emily Harvey Foundation
537 Broadway, New York NY

At 7 pm Ingrid will read

a letter from Jill's unfinished book:

Letters to the Living and the Dead:

An Epistolary Memoir
       Refreshments will be served        


Deep Listening Institute's

 

Tribute to Jill Johnston


Deep Listening Space

77 Cornell Street, Suite 303

Kingston, NY 12401


This event can be viewed live

by a donation of $25 to benefit

The Jill Johnston Literary Archive

Upon your donation, you will be

redirected to a page with

information on how 

to view our event.

Donate  HERE.





 Memorial for Jill Johnston

 

Saturday, January 29, 2011

from 1 to 5 PM

Judson Memorial Church

55 Washington Sq. South

New York NY

 

 

England's Child
$27.95

Appendix 2 of EC is

a list of carillons by G&J/

Cyril F. Johnston.

See also:

Gillett & Johnston Index

At Sea On Land
$12

Show Menu
Copyright Jill Johnston 2005
Contact: Ingrid Nyeboe